A Tardis lift, the clanky man and exploding waiters….

I think this one must come under the heading of ‘bits that won’t fit anywhere else’. Our apartment here is on the fifth floor. Both of us are really grateful that we have a lift in the building, especially so when returning from an evening of twenty four course gourmet dining. I’ve taken to calling the lift ‘Tardis’. It isn’t bigger inside than out and doesn’t travel through time and space (unless I’m writing this from another universe, though some people think I’m from another planet anyway). It’s the two interior doors that persuaded me it was a little Tardis like. There’s a large metal door then these :


I know it’s unlikely that Peter Capaldi or David Tennant will come leaping out anytime soon, sonic screwdriver at the ready but you never know…

Like much of France, Spain seems to still rely on bottled gas. I first noticed a lorry parked up on a street corner piled high with heavy orange bottles. One of the crew had loaded about four bottles on a sack barrow and set off down one of the side streets, striking the bottles quite enthusiastically with a hammer while he walked. Hence the ‘clanky man’. It became obvious a few days later (my brain takes some time to process information) that he’d become a street trader and was ‘ringing a bell’ to attract the attention of clients on upper floor apartments. Not a job I’d relish, even with the aid of a lift….

When we first went to L’Eggs (lunching there today too) I noticed the waiters all had an electronic device like a pager, attached to the waistband of their aprons. Some had more than one and all had red flashing lights. Were the waiters secretly androids and the device was a ‘kill switch’, should they go rogue, careering about the restaurant, trays and glasses of beer flying or letting customers depart without paying, I mused. Later I wondered if they were secretly terrorists and the devices primers for explosive devices concealed beneath their aprons. However I concluded it was merely a means of telling them a tables order was ready to be served. Maybe we can find out today….

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